Coal Train Charles

Drifter.

I love the  people in my life

how ever they choose to live their lives

I am grateful for those who love me

and for those

who I not only tolerate because I love them

but love to tolerate

I need to give love

perhaps more than I need it

but not to any one

who doesn’t care to receive it

bad company

go home with a girl who has 3 cats

and some how manage to get no pussy.

what do you get instead?

a half an hour of

holding and comforting her

while she cries uncontrollably

 and terrible allergies.

this situation however odd

did not bother me.

but rather when I asked her

what she was doing

via text message a few days later

and her immediate reply

was, do you have a hookup.

I wondered if she meant some one else she was fucking

she said for coke

I no longer cared to talk to her…

 

Grenades

once born and once dead

that’s all we get she said

not even our choice

when we arrive

when we depart

the rhythm just pounds on and on and on

until….

one day

something decides

we’ve had enough.

no refunds

tick, tick, tick

boom

we are live grenades

and we don’t notice

how little time we have

after that pin is pulled

or the how vast the empty space is

when we leave

dusty

I haven’t got a single person that I desire

at this moment

though I do truly desire

the act of wanting.

I also feel thoroughly undesirable

in this moment

I don’t wonder why

nor much care

there is no truth to any of this

however

this mind set is my reality

all reality

is subject to change.

The next book I read

will probably understand

all my books and i

were misunderstood together 

what is this anvil that I hold

or does It hold me

making habits into family

coughing up teeth

split the difference

lets go eat, i’m feeling weak

from all the poison I mistook for medicine

and the bleeding will not relent

from my slashed and tattered back

from the cougar that posed

as an innocent house cat

let me catch

just  little honey

from lifes mystic hive of wickedness that be

and make the perfect cup of tea

and then, I promise

i’ll be ready to start the day.

but please, i’m still tired

from my dreams

amazed by the way

these words flew from my youth

taking distain

and painting the pain

breathe deep and sink

into  a dream cold and dark

submerged into the ocean

let go

and sink

upward towards the light

kill the television

days off
are the days I work the hardest
because its not the American dream i’m living
its my fucking dream
and I actually look forward to waking up
to live thes day dreams

There is this big big house

and its under water

it is perfectly in tact

and it is where you live

you skip from room to room

happily submerged

in blissful indlugance

but occasionally

you stop

and glance

at the south wall

of the living room

where there is a big double door

that has never been opened

and you still don’t have any idea

what resides

in your own home

There is still so many people

I have never been

and yet

this place is relevant to me now

though i’m not allowed to know why

I am who I am